Thank you BCC Garbage Collections

Some say that you truly grow up when you start doing the right thing, even when it hurts to. This theory is philosophically pretty, but incomplete. Really, it’s much simpler than that.

At some point in the last few years I’ve made the official transition into adulthood. I know this, not because of age, but because I’m annoyed by most things teenagers do. I know this because I’ve started using words like “juvenile” and “delinquent.” Some may call this jaded, but really, it’s the acquisition of perspective. If you think that party kid who gave a swat team something to do is cool, it’s likely you’re a delinquent of some kind.

Example:
There is a family living next door to me. Said family includes 3 children. Eldest male juvenile has clearly wagged too many English classes. He is incapable of forming a grammatically correct sentence.

Juvenile bogan yells quite frequently, mostly verbal abuse directed at his younger sister. “Fucking cunt this, fucking cunt that.” And so on. No parental intervention.

Juvenile has one of those grown out Mohawk haircuts, which is slowly becoming a mullet.

Juvenile has own car, which he plays gangsta rap from. Implicitly. Because he is a mutha fuckin’ G, yo. (I’m so glad my high school years managed to pre-date the rap renaissance)

Juvenile can’t retain the key code to his home’s security system, and regularly sets the alarm off. As his mother recites the code over the phone, he yells the code so the entire street can hear. I know the code at this point. He still doesn’t.

This morning, while a garbage truck visited our street, as it does every Thursday, it ran straight into the badly parked juvenile-gangsta-mobile.

Screaming, obscenities, and horrific grammar ensued.

So did my uncontrollable, raucous laughter.

I may have imagined it, as some kind of adult solidarity within the ranks of the street, but I think I heard someone else laughing, too.

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